Boomers who care for aging parents may have a hard time relaxing on a vacation if they worry about what's happening back home.

Some of them think "I just can't leave" and "I will feel so bad" when they try to schedule time away, said Linda Fodrini-Johnson, executive director of Eldercare Services.

Nearly one-quarter of American households provide care to relatives or friends over 50, often carrying out daily tasks such as bathing, dressing, preparing meals, shopping and giving medications. Beyond these duties, boomers also face significant emotional and financial aspects surrounding care of an elder. 

Yet many caregivers don't know where or how to turn for help when they crave a break.

"Family caregivers often feel stuck because they don't know the resources available to them in their community," said Fodrini-Johnson, a geriatric caregiver in Walnut Creek, Calif., who is also a licensed marriage and family therapist.

At the same time, "we're seeing burnout in family caregivers... we need to get it out there that if you're over-caring, it affects your immune system."

Respite Care
A possible solution for many families can be respite care in the home, which comes in a variety of forms. That includes: hiring a geriatric care manager to live-in with an elderly parent suffering a chronic condition for a short time, or having a specialist work on a hourly basis to prepare meals or perform other key duties as needed.

Some professionals also are available an "on-call" basis, providing families a safety net in the event something goes wrong. 

But the intention behind the home respite options is to minimize disruptions, which is especially important for those suffering from serious conditions such as dementia, according to Fodrini-Johnson. She suggested that individuals consult a care management specialist, which would cost between $100 to $200 an hour, to help determine what option might be best for their parent's situation before booking travel. 

Costs of care will range widely, depending on location and level of service needed, Fodrini-Johnson said. For example, it's about $250 a day to hire a live-in care manager through an agency in the San Francisco Bay Area. Hourly rates in the area are between $25 and $30, and due to high gas prices, some caregivers will charge more to make the shorter jobs worth the trip, Fodrini-Johnson said. Rates in rural areas may be half of that. The national average is about $19 an hour.

However, when possible, sharing the care with a sibling can be more cost effective. In that situation, some families choose to have a care manager on call as a precautionary measure. 

Meanwhile, it's always smart for boomers to contact the office of aging in the county they reside for additional resources since these agencies receive federal government funding for geriatric care, Fodrini-Johnson said. Additionally, talk to churches or other nonprofit groups to find out which ones provide services such as shopping or  delivering meals.  

Caring for the Caregiver
These steps are well worth the time, Fodrini-Johnson said, nothing that boomers who don't give themselves a break put their own health at risk. Studies show that caregiving can negatively affect cardiac health, insulin levels and immune systems. Depression rates for those who provide care to elders with a dementia can be as high as 40 percent. 

It's important to "balance family caregiving with what gives you pleasure and (adds) quality to life," she said.

Caregivers planning a vacation for the first time might consider a short trip initially to get comfortable with the idea of having someone else share the care of Mom or Dad, Fodrini-Johnson suggested.

"Sometimes an evening away is a big deal," she said.