Cecily O’Connor
RedwoodAge.com

Moms aren't immune to stress, but there are ways that families can help ease the pressure.

As Mother’s Day approaches, there’s growing emphasis on helping "sandwich generation" women - those who take care of children and aging relatives - to achieve balance in managing their responsibilities. Encouraging - and making it possible - for mom to meet a friend for coffee, take a yoga class, get a massage or engage in any other relaxing activity is a gift that likely won’t be returned. 

Moms of all ages are experiencing high levels of stress. Nearly 40 percent of women aged 35 to 54 report extreme levels of tension, compared to 29 percent of those aged 18 to 34, and 25 percent of over 55, according to the American Psychological Association. 

This stress hurts not only personal relationships - 83 percent cite relationships with their spouse, children and family as the top stress trigger - but also affects them personally.

"The worry of your parents' health, and your children's well-being, as well as the financial concern of putting kids through college and saving for your own retirement, is a lot to handle,” said psychologist Katherine Nordal, executive director for professional practice at the association.

That’s why it’s important for families to take time to address stresses and learn how to manage them. How a mother manages stress often affects the rest of the family, and can be a model for their behavior, both good and bad.

“Other family members will imitate (mom’s) unhealthy behavior,” Nordal said.

To that end, APA offers tips for stressed-out mothers caring for children, parents:

Identify stressors. What events or situations trigger stressful feelings? Are they related to your children, family health, financial decisions, work, relationships or something else?

Recognize how you deal with stress. Are you using unhealthy behaviors to cope with the stress of supporting your children and parents, and is this specific to certain events or situations? Put things in perspective and make time for what's really important. Prioritize and delegate responsibilities. Identify ways your family and friends can lessen your load so that you can take a break. Delay or say “no” to less important tasks. 

Find healthy ways to manage stress. Consider healthy, stress-reducing activities. That includes taking a short walk, exercising, or talking things out with friends or family. Focus on changing only one behavior at a time. 

Take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, drink plenty of water and engage in regular physical activity like walking or yoga or your weekly softball game. Keep in contact with your friends and family members.

Ask for support. Accepting help from supportive friends and family can improve your ability to persevere during stressful times. 

If you continue to be overwhelmed by stress or the unhealthy behaviors you use to cope, you may want to talk with a counselor or psychologist who can help you address the emotions behind your worries, better manage stress and change unhealthy behaviors.