Tom Murphy
RedwoodAge.com
Pity the boomer. Oft seen as that technophobic empty-nester whose retirement years consist of endless rounds of golf, the typical member of America's largest generation turns out to be sadly misunderstood.
So sayeth AARP, that noble organization whose motto is "don't call us the American Association of Retired People anymore, please."
In a report drafted with the market research firm Focalyst, the association seeks to forever put an end to what it calls "the Top 10 Boomer Myths," and you can play along. Simply read through the following list and contribute $100 to your IRA each time you find yourself saying "I didn't know that."
In the fashion of David Letterman, the association has deigned to list the myths in reverse order, but please don't expect a big yuck at the end. The snide comments are the work of RedwoodAge, not our dear friends at AARP, so you can send your complaints to us or just post them below the story.
No. 10: Boomers Are Retiring Early - Although the first boomers were eligible to start collecting Social Security this year, only 11 percent plan to stop working entirely when they reach retirement age. Most boomers can't afford it.
No. 9: Boomers Are Downsizing Their Homes - Only 6 percent plan to live in smaller homes within five years. That probably because so many of them have adult "children" and dependent parents who refuse to move out.
No. 8: Most Boomers Are Empty-nesters - Ha! A third are single and 37 percent have kids under 18 living at home. Only about a quarter are married and have successfully evicted the kids, according to the survey.
No. 7: Boomers are Suckers for Mainstream Advertising - Are you kidding? This is the generation that coined the word "consumerism." Two thirds of boomers think ads have gotten crude and say they'd refuse to buy a product if they found the commercial offensive.
No. 6: Boomers are Brand Loyal - Hello?! See No. 7 re: consumerism. The survey shows three out of five boomers believe "it doesn't pay to be loyal to one brand."
No. 5: Boomers are All Wealthy - Just 9 percent of boomers have pre-tax incomes of $150,000 or more. A quarter of boomers have no savings at all. And more and more are turning up homeless in what may be a sign of things to come.
No. 4: Boomers are Winding Down with Age - The survey finds the typical boomer participates in 10 activities that extend beyond the church choir. Sixty million took trips last year and 11 million ride bikes (including the founder of RedwoodAge.com.) Remember, boomers are only 44-62. It's not like they're all pushing walkers...yet.
No. 3: Boomers are Technologically Challenged - Who do you think taught Gen X about computers? Boomers have been using PCs and email most of their working lives, and 82 percent use the Internet to read news, download movies, maintain financial accounts and - oh yes - play computer games.
No. 2: Boomers Are the Me Generation - Actually, 70 percent believe they have a responsibility to leave the world a better place. The Civil Rights, Women's and Antiwar movements all grew out of boomer social actions. And who do you think invented Earth Day?
And the No. 1 Boomer Myth: Boomers are All the Same - According to the association, more life events occur between the ages of 50 and 65 than in any other time in a person's life, and these events "have a major impact on attitudes, life goals and consumer behavior."
In other words, pappa's got a brand new bag. Can you dig it?
